How to Begin and Prioritize Family Worship
What is the identity of your family?
Are you the sports family that’s always busy traveling around to ball games? Or maybe the adventurous family, going on memorable vacations all over the world? Are you the hospitable family who is always hosting and whose door is always open?
Our family’s identity is often determined by our values and how we spend our time.
As Christians, our faith should shape the identity of our family. This should play out in worshiping with the body of Christ every Lord’s Day, but it should also take place in worshiping together as a family in our home.
Worship should characterize our entire lives (1 Corinthians 10:31), but God’s Word also encourages families to worship the Lord in addition to regularly attending corporate worship. This is the Biblical pattern:
“You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:7-9
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
Families have a responsibility to teach their children about the gospel, God’s Word, and living the Christian life.
The Importance of Family Worship
There is a real, often missed, theological component to family worship as well, because when families prioritize worship, they’re taking God’s covenantal promises seriously.
In every covenant throughout Scripture, God covenants with believers and their children. These covenant promises are not exclusive to the Old Testament; the idea is repeated throughout the New Testament as well.
“Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself.” Acts 2:38-39
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’ Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:1-4
Of course children of believers are not automatically saved by birthright; they too must trust in the Lord Jesus for their salvation. But where and how will they hear the gospel message? Will they only hear it at church on Sundays? Or is it something that their parents will teach them throughout the week? Will it only come through sporadic conversations or will it be consistent, thoughtful and intentional?
Scripture clearly teaches that parents have a responsibility to their children to teach them the faith. Again, that doesn’t guarantee that your children will be saved. But if parents faithfully commit to worshiping together as a family throughout the week, we can have a greater hope that they will come to know the Lord!
After all, faith comes through hearing. And children hearing about the things of the Lord at home will always be a God-honoring thing!
The Benefits of Family Worship
These are but a few of the tremendous number of practical blessings that come through family worship.
1. Family identity in Christ
One of the great struggles of raising families in 2024 is all the opportunities for extra-curricular activities. Between homework, ball practice, and music lessons, there’s barely enough time to take care of essential household chores like washing the dishes, taking out the trash, and mowing the grass. There’s a real danger among Christian families to allow their busyness to become their identity. We can become so busy that we crowd the Lord completely out of our lives.
Which is one of the primary blessings and benefits of consistent family worship: You’re establishing your family’s identity in Christ. By pausing to reflect upon the Lord and His goodness, you are making your family’s Christian identity central to who you are, not peripheral.
“But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15
The gospel, God’s Word, and living the Christian life should not be conversations that are reserved for Sundays. They should take place throughout the week.
2. Leadership in the home
Many Christian men feel like they are not leading their family well spiritually. They know they should be doing something, but they’re not sure what it should look like.
Family worship is a tangible demonstration that men are taking their responsibilities as heads of their households seriously. Men set the tone and priorities of the family, and when they commit to family worship they are leading well spiritually.
Family worship is an opportunity for men to step into their God-given role.
3. Unity among husband and wife
Once a family’s identity is established in Christ, there will be tremendous confidence and unity. In fact, family worship provides an opportunity to unite husbands and wives in their purpose of mind, giving them a bigger vision for their family.
4. More exposure to the Word of God and the Gospel
And of course, one of the most obvious blessings of consistent family worship is regular exposure to the Word of God and the Gospel. You will be shocked not only by what your children will retain from God’s Word, but from what you will retain from God’s Word.
This simple, faithful practice will only strengthen your faith in the Lord.
5. Multi-generational benefits
Of course, our minds gravitate towards teaching the truth of God’s Word to our children (which is true and biblical!), but we must remember it’s not exclusively for our children. Adults grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ by committing themselves to worship the Lord throughout the week as well.
Singles should spend daily time in prayer and reading God’s Word.
Young married couples without kids should take time to read God’s Word and pray together. By establishing the habit of family worship at the outset of your marriage, you can simply fold children into your already-established rhythm as your family grows.
Additionally, empty nesters should continue in family worship (or begin today, if you haven’t done it in the past!). Committing to family worship even after your children have left the house will demonstrate to your adult children that your Christian identity is fundamentally who you are. It wasn’t merely a phase you went through while they were in the house. This will hopefully encourage them to practice family worship, as well.
All Christians must fundamentally believe that the Lord is good and worthy of your worship in every stage of life!
Practical Ways to Begin
No matter where you are in life, it’s never too late to begin family worship. Here are a few practical ways to begin.
1. Add it onto one of your current routines
First, evaluate your current patterns and routines and try to work family worship into those existing routines.
For example, consider reading the Bible, praying and singing right after dinner while you’re already around the dinner table.
If you have small children and you’re in the routine of reading stories before bedtime, gather together on the couch beforehand for family worship.
You don’t necessarily have to dramatically change your family’s routine schedule. Instead, keep things simple and increase your likelihood of sticking with it by adding family worship onto an existing routine.
2. Explain the importance of family worship to your family
If you’re brand new to family worship or you haven’t been consistent in practicing it, it might be helpful to share the “why” with your family.
Explain the importance of family worship. Tell them you want to establish your family as one that is truly committed to the Lord.
Tell them that it will daily all of you of your need for Christ and that it will help you know and understand God more by consistently spending time in His Word. Share about how worthy God is of our praise and worship! And explain how it will be a wonderful opportunity to pray for each other and the things that are weighing heavily on your hearts.
If you have children who are older and you want to start family worship but haven’t been doing it, explain to your children your change in conviction and apologize for failing to implement it sooner.
3. Start small
If you’re just starting out, family worship doesn’t need to be a mini church service.
The basics of family worship are reading the Bible, praying together, and singing a hymn. (Of course, you can always do more, but you should start small and over time you can always add more!)
Perhaps you begin by simply reading one Proverb each day for one whole month. Then consider reading through another book of the Bible and praying for one another. Then add in a hymn.
When just starting out, have family worship last 15 minutes max. Don’t exacerbate your children. Try to make it stimulating, joyful, and fun!
4. Read the Word together
Family worship should include reading God’s Word together.
For families with small children (0-4), you might start by using something like The Child’s Story Bible by Catherine Vos. Reading one short section might be all you are able to do.
If you have older children, read a chapter or two directly out of the Bible.
5. Pray
Family worship is a great opportunity to pray for one another and hear about what’s going on in everyone’s lives. What better way to love one another well than to lift one another up to the Triune God who hears our prayers?
This will be an encouragement to your family, it will bring all of you closer together, and it will demonstrate your family’s dependence upon the Lord.
6. Sing
Singing hymns is not only a crucial component of worship, but the lyrics of the hymns teach us all timeless, Biblical truths. The melodies help us commit these truths to memory.
And if you have small children, this is often their favorite part of family worship.
It doesn’t matter if you can’t carry a tune or if many of the hymns are unfamiliar to you. You could have a “hymn of the week” or “hymn of the month” to learn new songs and lyrics together! Or you can allow your children to choose one of their favorite hymns to encourage their involvement and participation. Over time, you’ll be amazed at how many hymns you learn as your worship the Lord together.
There are also many great resources like Our Hymns, Our Heritage and the Trinity Psalter Hymnal app.
7. Strive for consistency, not perfection
Undoubtedly, there will be days when things come up and you’re unable to do family worship. We should accept this reality on the front end so that it doesn’t discourage us from giving up on family worship altogether.
We should strive for consistency (not perfection!) and follow the “more often than not” rule, recognizing that life circumstances may at times get in the way. If you miss a day, pick back up the following day! This is a pattern you’re trying to commit to for your lifetime, not a hardcore phase with unrealistic expectations.
And if your children are anything like mine and you incorporate family worship into your routines, they will be quick to remind you about family worship! Which is a blessing.
Common Hangups
What about families with young children?
Toddlers can make family worship a little more interesting. They’re squirmy, they have small attention spans, and they’re easily distracted. They don’t fully appreciate or understand what Mom and Dad are doing.
But more than anything, especially in the little years, you’re trying to establish a pattern in their lives.
Here are a few simple tips that we’ve found helpful for family worship with little ones:
Keep it short and manage your expectations. You may only be able to conduct family worship for 5 minutes but remember, you’re establishing a lifelong pattern. It’s not going to be established over two days. It’ll take a few months before the rhythm is established.
Involve them in getting the Bible, hymn book, blankets, etc. Involving your kids in the process will make family worship something they look forward to, so consider ways that they can help out. Our kids like to get the Bible out for us and set out blankets for everyone. They also like to choose a stuffed animal to hold and keep them company.
Choose a fun snack or dessert. Giving your kids a fun snack or dessert, especially if you’re doing family worship after dinner, gives them something to look forward to (but also helps cut down on the noise level!). Or, you could give them a fun snack or dessert for doing a good job sitting still and listening during family worship.
What about when you have company over?
Depending on the situation and the company, it might be a wonderful opportunity to include them in your family worship. Your children will be able to see you pray with and for your friends, and your company may be encouraged to begin implementing family worship in their home.
What about men who are new believers and feel intimidated to lead their family in family worship?
If you’re a new believer, or just new to family worship, you don’t have to have everything figured out.
Be honest with your family. Tell them that you’re still learning God’s Word, too, and that you all will be on the same journey together, which means you probably do not know all the answers to all their questions. But if they do ask you a question, you’ll have an opportunity to figure it out!
Purchasing a study Bible like the Reformation Study Bible could be tremendously helpful and of course, don’t be afraid to ask your pastor any questions you may have!
