Friendship That Honors God - 1 Samuel 18:1-5

In today’s digital world, friendship has been redefined. With a simple click of a button, you can send a friend request, gain a new follower, or react to a post with a thumbs-up emoji. Social media has made it easier than ever to stay connected, but has it actually made us better friends?

On Facebook, friendships are effortless, curated, and often shallow. You can have hundreds or even thousands of friends, yet still feel lonely. You can “like” a post without truly knowing the person behind it. And at any moment, with just one click, you can unfriend someone if they say something you don’t like.

But when we open Scripture, we find a radically different vision of friendship. Biblical friendship is not built on convenience, appearances, or mutual interests, rather it’s built on love, sacrifice, and commitment. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” True friendship isn’t about how many people are in your circle—it’s about who is willing to walk with you through life’s highs and lows.

Isn’t that what we just read about Jonathan and David? Jonathan’s friendship with David wasn’t based on convenience because Jonathan was willing to risk everything for David. According to the Scriptures, true friendship is about sacrificial love and loyalty.

As we’ll see, the sacrificial love that grounded Jonathan and David’s friendship ultimately points us to the sacrificial friendship that Christ extends to his people. This morning’s passage teaches us first that friendship is rooted in covenant love (vv. 1-2), second, we’ll see that true friendship is marked by self-sacrifice (vv. 3-4), and lastly, we’re reminded true friendship is supportive (v. 5).

Obviously, this passage is coming on the heels of David’s great victory over Goliath. At the end of chapter 17, the commander of Saul’s army, Abner, took David over to speak with Saul. Saul wanted to learn more about the young man who had defeated the giant. It’s somewhat surprising, because if you remember, David at this point, was a musician in Saul’s court.

And Saul loved David’s music. Perhaps Saul didn’t recognize David or know anything about David’s family background – either way, David goes to Saul and tells him that he is the son of Jesse the Bethlemite.

David’s defeat of Goliath is the most pivotal moment in his life, because his victory of Goliath propelled him into fame. He went from being a no-name shepherd boy who was responsible for taking his brothers bread and cheese, to a household name.

True friendship is rooted in covenant love (v. 1-2)

His sudden rise to fame explains why we’re told in verse 2 that, “...Saul would not let him return to his father's house.” After a victory like that he had to stay with all the movers and shakers in Israel. He can’t go back to lame old Bethlehem. He must stay with the king.

But what’s amazing about our passage is that Saul’s son, Jonathan immediately takes to David. In fact, we’re told in verse 1 that the “soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”

It’s a rather shocking statement because on the surface, if there was anyone who shouldn’t like, let alone love David - it would have been Jonathan. Wouldn’t you expect Jonathan to view David as his rival?

After all, Jonathan has combat experience too. Remember what he did in 1 Samuel 14? Jonathan along with his armor bearer stormed a garrison and killed 20 Philistines. Jonathan had a warrior pedigree too.

But David’s victory over Goliath was greater than Jonathan's victory. Which is why it’s so shocking that Jonathan loved David as his own soul.

Dr. Rick Phillips tells a great story about two English preachers who were both serving in London at the same time: F.B. Meyer and G. Campbell Morgan. Both were faithful, like-minded preachers. But whereas Meyer’s church was well-attended, Morgan’s church overflowed. Meyer and Morgan would even preach at the same conferences. As Morgan preached everyone would sit attentively and listen and when it was Meyer’s turn to preach, many would slip out the backdoor.

Slowly over time Meyer began to notice the seeds of envy and resentment taking root in his heart.

Isn’t this precisely what you would expect from Jonathan? He’s been outstaged by a young shepherd boy! You would expect the seeds of bitterness and resentment to begin to take root in his heart, because let’s be honest, that’s probably what would happen if we were in his shoes! We’d begin to get resentful as well.

But not Jonathan. Jonathan loved David - and he loved David for a very simple reason. He loved David because David defended the people of Israel and upheld the honor of God. Jonathan didn’t care about someone superseding his public image. He loved David because he cared about protecting God’s people and defending God’s honor.

It reminds me of what Paul says in Philippians 1: “Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. 16 The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. 17 The former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment. 18 What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice.”

Paul is able to look beyond what motivates someone to preach, as long as they are preaching the gospel. Jonathan didn’t know David well, but he loved him because when he looked at David he knew that was a man who shared his life’s mission.

After all, he had just witnessed a young shepherd boy kill the most intimidating warrior of all time, and he loved him for it. He was thankful for what David had done.

As many of you are, I’m sure aware, there have been modern attempts to sexualize Jonathan and David’s love for one another. The folks who do this point to the passage we have before us along with a passage from 2 Samuel 1:26 where David says that Jonathan’s “love [towards him] was extraordinary, surpassing the love of women.”

And so they point to these things as evidence that they were in a homosexual relationship. Nevermind, just how incredibly offensive and simplistic that is, it actually demonstrates how overly sexualized our culture is.

Two American Revolutionary War heroes, Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens were close friends who exchanged letters that expressed their affection for one another – and guess what? Some historians have questioned their sexuality based upon these letters.

The bottom line is, we’ve almost lost the category for close friendships between men or women without assuming there’s a sexual component to it.

Because the truth is: Christian men and women need each other. Men need a brotherhood and women need a sisterhood. To admit that men understand the challenges of manhood oftentimes better than women, and that women tend to understand the challenges of womanhood better than men is to simply acknowledge reality. That’s just the way the world works!

I’m sure this is true for women as well, but most men think that once they get married they’ll finally figure women out, but oftentimes you’re just more confused than you were when you were single.

Men need a brotherhood. Women need a sisterhood. The best friendships at their core love and appreciate people for who they are. They love them because of what they see at the core of their soul.

The love amongst Christian brothers and sisters isn’t rooted in emotional support, social status, or opportunities. The love that we have for one another is rooted in our mutual love for Christ.

And that’s exactly what Jonathan recognized in David – he saw a young man who loved the Lord every bit as much as he did – and he loved that about him.

True friendship is marked by self-sacrifice (v. 3-4)

Jonathan’s heart was so knitted to David that he even made a covenant with him.

The literal language there at the beginning of verse 3 is “Then Jonathan cut a covenant with David.” There was a formal ceremony that required the cutting of an animal.

Dale Ralph Davis explained it well. He said they, “sever[ed] an animal and both parties pass[ed] [through] the pieces [which effectively said], “If I am unfaithful to my word in this covenant, may I end up in pieces as this animal.”

In other words, the covenant between Jonathan and David signified their unwavering loyalty to one another. In fact, the covenant meant that they would rather die than betray their friendship.

Because this is culturally foreign to us, there’s a temptation to shrug your shoulders and say, “why should I care if they formalized their friendship with a covenant?"

The answer really lies in both David and Jonathan’s background. David was a shepherd boy from a small town, who came from a forgettable family. David had been anointed king in Israel, but that wasn’t public knowledge. David, for all intents and purposes, was a nobody.

But Jonathan on the other hand was somebody. He was the eldest son of the King. You would assume that if something happened to Saul that Jonathan would be next in line for the throne. After all, monarchies work through hereditary succession.

My point is, Jonathan had everything to lose in making a covenant with David, while David had everything to gain. And yet, it was Jonathan who took the step to formally seal his loyalty to David in the bonds of a covenant.

The prince pledged his loyalty to a peasant.

But Jonathan doesn’t stop there does he? “Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.”

All the visible signs of Jonathan’s royalty - his royal robe, armor, and weapons, he gives to David. Obviously, there’s deep symbolism in the gesture. David had been anointed King – there’s certainly foreshadowing of what’s to come, but of course, Jonathan didn’t know that.

At this moment, it’s a shocking display of humility.

Princes are not supposed to humble themselves before peasants! It’s supposed to be the other way around! The peasant is supposed to bow deeply in the presence of royalty.

Jonathan is humbling himself and at the same time exalting David.

So often our lives are fueled by comparison. We sometimes think we should be further along than we actually are in life. We look at someone else and believe we deserve to be in their position more than they do. It’s easy to believe that you deserve what someone else has.

Because the truth is, it’s hard enough to be happy for someone else’s success, let alone humble yourself before them.

The temptation towards jealousy like F.B. Meyer experienced can be overwhelming, which is why what Meyer did was so amazing. Meyer was upset with himself that he was growing envious and jealous of Morgan’s success.

So, Meyer took an unusual step – he began to pray that God would bless Morgan’s ministry even more. He figured he couldn’t be jealous of a man who he prayed for. And over time, he could be heard rejoicing over Morgan’s preaching. “My, did you hear Campbell Morgan preach today!” Slowly Meyer’s love for Morgan began to increase, and God so overflowed Morgan’s church that people had no choice but to start attending Meyer’s!

This is exactly what the Apostle Paul speaks about in Philippians 2 when he says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

And if you know the content of Philippians 2, that’s his launching pad for the speaking of Christ’s humility. He says,

“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

Just as Jonathan took off the royal garments, armor, and weapons, and gave them to David, the King of the Universe takes off his royal garments and puts them on his children.

The best friends are the people who are willing to humble themselves and put others ahead of himself or herself. They’re the people who are more than willing to say, “you go first, I’ll go last.” Being self-sacrificial, which is the mark of a great friend.

True friendship is supportive (v. 5)

Just as Jonathan’s friendship with David was rooted in covenantal love, so is Christ’s friendship with his people rooted in his covenantal love. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

God’s plan of redemption is fundamentally rooted in love.

The book of Hosea is an extended metaphor of God’s love. Hosea’s wife, Gomer, repeatedly abandoned him, running after other lovers. Eventually, she found herself enslaved, with no way out. But instead of rejecting her, Hosea searched for her, paid the price for her freedom, and took her back as his wife—not because she was faithful, but because of his covenant love (Hosea 3:1).

Jonathan, the son of King Saul, had every worldly reason to distance himself from David—David was a rising threat to his own claim to the throne. But instead of clinging to his own power and status, Jonathan made a covenant with David, loving him as his own soul and stripping himself of his royal robe and weapons, giving them to David as a sign of humility, loyalty, and self-sacrificing love (v. 4).

Friendship among Christians is totally different from the sort of casual friendships of the world. Relationships masquerading as friendships are often manipulative tools used to get something out of someone. We’ve all had people who we thought were our friends take advantage of us.

Christian friendships are different because they share a mutual love for God and it’s out of that they’re able to say, “you first, I’ll go last.”

They do that for others because it’s what Christ has done for them. The bond between two believers isn’t their blood, it’s Christ’s blood.

You know it’s really easy to gloss over verse 5, but I hope you don’t do that. We’re told in verse 5, “And David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him, so that Saul set him over the men of war. And this was good in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul's servants.”

There’s something empowering when you know that you have someone in your corner. Sometimes people take that too far and believe that if you really are their friend you’ll support them no matter what – but that’s not true friendship. A true friend isn’t going to support you in your sin. But a true friend is going to support you as you pursue what honors God.

It reminds me of William Tyndale and John Frith. The two men were friends who shared the same mission. Both were passionate about one thing: making the Bible accessible to the common people in their own language.

Tyndale, often called the father of the English Bible, worked tirelessly to translate Scripture despite persecution. Frith, his younger friend, was a brilliant scholar who shared the same vision.

At a time when translating the Bible was considered a crime punishable by death, both men risked everything. Eventually, Frith was arrested and thrown into the Tower of London and despite Tyndale’s pleading for his release, Frith was ultimately burned at the stake in 1533.

Despite Frith’s death, Tyndale carried on their mission, knowing it would have been exactly what Frith would have wanted. Because true friends are supportive in the things that honor God.

I hope as we leave here today, we ask ourselves, what sort of friends are we? Do you love others well? Are you willing to say, “you go first, I’ll go last?” Or is every relationship driven by the question, “what’s in it for me?”

David and Jonathan remind us that true friendship is more than just mutual affection or shared interests—it’s about selflessly serving and supporting one another in a way that brings glory to God.

Because at its core, David and Jonathan’s friendship offers us a profound glimpse of the sacrificial love that Christ has for His people. Jonathan’s willingness to lay down his rights for David mirrors Christ’s ultimate act of sacrifice, where He laid down His life for us, His friends.

After all, Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this,that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

Jonathan and David’s bond was not built on convenience or mutual gain, but on a covenant of loyalty and sacrifice—qualities that reflect the heart of Jesus. Amen. Let’s pray.