The Gift of Children - Psalm 128
This morning, we’re pausing briefly from our study in John’s gospel in order to reflect upon the Sanctity of Human Life.
Sanctity of Human Life Day began in 1984 by proclamation of then President, Ronald Reagan. In his proclamation he wrote,
“The values and freedoms we cherish as Americans rest on our fundamental commitment to the sanctity of human life. The first of the “unalienable rights” affirmed by our Declaration of Independence is the right to life itself, a right the Declaration states has been endowed by our Creator on all human beings -- whether young or old, weak or strong, healthy or handicapped.”
Abortion continues to be the human rights issue of our day. Some have estimated that since 1973 there have been over sixty-million babies have been aborted in the United States.
As many of you know, Roe v. Wade was overturned on June 24, 2022 by the Dobbs decision of the United States Supreme Court, and we certainly rejoice in that decision. However, that ruling did not outlaw abortions, rather, it made it a state by state issue, making it a local issue more than ever before.
Abortion remains legal in the state of Virginia. In fact, as Mrs. Barabara informed us this morning, Roanoke has become an abortion destination.
Two of the primary motivators for having an abortion are: Having a baby would dramatically change my life; and two, I can’t afford a baby right now. Our culture encourages us to base all of our decisions only in terms of expediency and convenience. And so we’re taught that children are simply inconvenient.
And if people think that a baby is inconvenient then they’re also saying that fatherhood and motherhood is inconvenient as well. Which is just another way of saying that the nuclear family is a burden.
The nuclear family might be denigrated culturally, but in the eyes of God it’s a wonderful thing. Isn’t Psalm 128 a beautiful celebration of the family? The picture that Psalm 128 paints is in total contrast to the way the world presents it.
Psalm 128 is a Psalm of Ascent. It’s a Psalm that the people of Israel would sing on their way to Jerusalem.
There are two things that I want you all to see from Psalm 128: first, it’s addressed to men, and second, it celebrates children.
Psalm 128 is addressed to Fathers
Perhaps you noticed that the Psalm is entitled, “Blessed Is Everyone Who Fears the Lord,” but I think you could make the case that the better title might be “Blessed are the Men who Fear the Lord.”
The Psalm begins with the word, “Blessed” which is a Hebrew masculine noun. But the dead giveaway that the Psalm is addressed to men is “Your wife” in verse 3, and even more explicit is, “Behold, thus shall the man be blessed…” in verse 4.
Psalm 128 is addressing men, but more specifically it’s speaking to husbands and fathers.
The Psalmist says, “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.”
In the same way that a grapevine that produces grapes is a blessing so is a wife and mother. She’s like a fruitful vine.
Additionally, the children are described as “olive shoots.” Just as olives were a precious commodity to the people of Israel, so are children. And it’s upon describing the beauty of the family that the Psalmist declares “behold thus shall the man be blessed…”
The Psalmist describes the family in idyllic terms. The Psalmist makes family life sound amazing!
Of course, the Psalmist isn’t saying that if your family life isn’t this idyllic then you're cursed. Even loving families who want to bring their children up in the fear and admonition of the Lord will be the first to tell you that their lives are not as perfect as Psalm 128 sounds. It’s not like every evening when the family gathers around the dinner table sunshine peeks through the window as a rainbow forms outside. There’s financial stress, arguments, pain and suffering.
But we must not overlook the general point that the Psalmist is making, which is, men, your wife and children are blessings.
So men, when you go home tonight make sure to remind your wife that she’s your beautiful fruitful vine, and tell your children that they’re just the best little olive shoots. Maybe those compliments don’t have the same effect anymore, but nevertheless, the Psalmist is incredibly positive! He’s describing the nuclear family in loving, positive, terms!
Notice that he’s not dragging the family down. He’s not saying, yeah, family life is really difficult but it’s the cross you have to carry as a man. Your family is a gift! Which is of course an important reminder when you think about the crisis of fatherlessness in our country.
But that’s not necessarily the issue that I see among fathers within the church. For many men in the church there seems to be a pervasive attitude that your family is someone else’s job.
And so, countless men simply check out. As soon as they get home they plop down on the couch and turn on the TV or start scrolling their phone. They may be physically present, but they’re mentally absent.
They’re not actively investing and cultivating the hearts of their wife and children. In fact, many men are so checked out they default every decision to their wife thus abdicating himself of his God-given responsibility.
That’s not being the man that your family needs. You need to be stronger than that. Everyone has their own definition of masculinity. As the most masculine man in this room, who still can’t grow a beard, I think I have a lot to offer you all in this area! I’m just kidding!
But as I’ve been praying and thinking about Psalm 128, and I do have my own definition of masculinity and it doesn’t involve bench pressing 315 pounds, killing a bear, or climbing Mt. Everest.
True biblical masculinity is shouldering responsibility. That idea is built into Psalm 128.
Keep in mind that Psalm 128 is a Psalm of Ascent. The Psalms of Ascent were Psalms that the people of Israel would sing as they ascended temple Mount in Jerusalem where they offer sacrifices and worship the Lord. This wasn’t a pilgrimage exclusive for mom and dad, this was a whole family affair. The whole family would go, but of course, the father would lead.
Growing up, I had family friends who would drop off their boys at church, and while they were at church their parents would run errands, go grocery shopping or take care of whatever things they needed to do and then pick their boys up. These parents were surprised and disappointed when, as their boys grew up, they never took the Christian faith seriously.
Why on God’s green earth would parents expect their children to take faith in Christ seriously, if they don’t take it seriously themselves? Of course, the Lord can work in spite of your family circumstances and I know that’s the case for many of you here, but I would venture to say you’re the exception and not the rule. The Lord ordinarily works through the family.
Verses 5 and 6 make this point: “The Lord bless you from Zion! May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life! May you see your children's children! Peace be upon Israel!”
The Psalmist is making the point in verses 5-6 that they’ll see the church flourish. The temple was in Jerusalem, but that was where they’d go to worship.
We often hear that the family unit is the building block of society, but the family unit is the building block of the church as well.
One commentator put verses 5 and 6 this way, “[Psalm 128]... encourages the individual to contribute to the building up of the kingdom of God… Through him his family will be established and through him God will extend his blessing to all the people of God.”
But Psalm 128 says that all of this rises and falls with the father.
Men are called to be the spiritual leaders of their family. Don’t fall for the lie that your family’s spirituality is someone else’s responsibility. Don’t expect someone else to teach your children about Jesus Christ. Consistently remind your family that they need Jesus Christ because you need Him too.
That’s one of the primary elements of biblical masculinity: seizing ownership of the spiritual formation and direction of your family. That doesn’t mean you need to have a seminary degree and preach a sermon to your family each night.
It’s much simpler than that, it means, you prioritize going to church, it means you take time to read God’s word to your family, it means asking your wife and children how you can pray for them. And these aren’t just mechanical things that men should do, rather, it should be viewed as an opportunity to share a piece of our heart with your wife and kids. They need to see that your faith in Christ is more to you than an outward profession. This isn’t just something that Dad does, this is who Dad is.
Secondly, biblical manhood is shouldering responsibility at home. And what I mean by that is, men, you're attentive to the physical and emotional needs of your family. In Psalm 128 you have this picture of family connectivity with everyone sitting around the table together.
Even when we’re tired we must fight the temptation to check out, because your family needs you. They need you to be an active part of their lives. Take an interest in the things that your wife and kids enjoy. Enter into their worlds. Ask them questions about the things that bring them joy. Participate in those activities. Nurture and discipline your children.
Time and interest are the ways that you show your wife and kids that you care about them.
We even see another element to biblical manhood in verse 2: “You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you.”
Men are supposed to shoulder the responsibility of providing for your family. Don’t retreat from it, accept and embrace it. It’s biblical.
But my challenge to all the husbands, fathers, and grandfathers is don’t check out. Don’t divest yourself of all responsibility. Invest in your wife and kids. They need you. Fathers of adult children, your kids still need you. They need your encouragement, support, and love.
Send an encouraging text. Share with your wife, kids, and grandkids what the Lord is teaching you. Find ways to talk about Christ, because at the end of the day, what else matters? Those are the conversations that will stick with your children and grandchildren for a lifetime.
Strive to be the man that your wife, your children, and your grandchildren need you to be. Men, spur one another on! Encourage each other and help one another shoulder that glorious God-given responsibility.
This is still Sanctity of Human Life day, not a father’s day pep talk, but I hope you all can see the relationship between the family, in particular fatherhood and cherishing life. The statistics of women who get abortions and profess to be Christians is absolutely shocking.
LifeWay Research reports that 7 in 10 women who have had an abortion identify as a Christian. Even more shocking is that the chief reason women seek out an abortion is from pressure or coercion from the father. Abortion isn’t just a problem for the world out there, it’s an issue right here as well.
To be honest, I don’t really know what to make of that.
But for one, I don’t think the church has done a good job celebrating the family, but more than that, we haven’t given men in particular a God-honoring vision for what the family should look like! Psalm 128 gives a glorious vision for the home that all men should strive for!
Ladies, let me just say this, your husband is going to let you down. That’s probably the understatement of the century isn’t it? But rather than tearing him down and reminding him of all the ways he’s failing, because he probably is failing, try this next time: point to Psalm 128 and say this is the man I need you to be.
Men, we must capture an inspiring, God-honoring vision for the family. Regardless of your marital status, this is an ideal to strive after.
We must recapture the vision that Scripture gives us. We’ve done a poor job of telling men that shouldering the responsibility of caring for your wife and children is a glorious gift that God has given to us.
Children are a blessing
Which is really interesting when you consider the fact that God’s Word teaches that everyone is born into sin.
We know the Scripture references:
Gen. 6 - “The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.”
Jeremiah 17:9 - “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”
Matthew 15:19 - “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.”
Romans 3 - “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.”
It’s the doctrine of total depravity. So you might be led to believe that because people are inherently sinful, that children are bad. But that’s not true at all. God’s Word consistently teaches that children are a glorious blessing.
Proverbs 17 - “Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.”
Mark 10:14 - “ But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.”
Psalm 127 - “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. 4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. 5 Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
And of course our passage this morning, Psalm 128 would be included in this list as well.
Verse 3, “your children will be like olive shoots around your table,” and notice how the Psalm ends, “May you see your children's children!”
Kids are a glorious blessing!
Now obviously, everything has been tainted by sin. We’d all be lying to ourselves if we act like raising a family was easy. We all know it’s not! It’s quite hard, isn’t it? And sin certainly affects it, it harms relationships, but nevertheless God’s Word is clear - family is a blessing.
Which is why it’s disappointing to hear children referred to as “vipers in diapers.” I think it was Jonathan Edwards who coined the term. He once described children as, “little vipers in covenant diapers.”
Perhaps Edwards used it in a sarcastic way, but that terminology certainly makes children sound bad. In fact, it makes children sound like they will only make your life harder.
And then you couple ‘vipers in diapers’ with a regular word of caution against making an idol out of the family. And of course, as we just read, “the heart is deceitful above all things,” we’re capable of making an idol out of anything, but is idolizing the family the biggest problem we face in the church and world?
No, the exact opposite is true. Families are literally under attack. People openly question whether or not getting married and having children are even good. And then the church is half-hearted at best in her encouragement of the family. Too often our support of the nuclear family dies the death of a million cuts. We qualify our support of the family to death. Psalm 128 doesn’t do that!
So it really isn’t a huge surprise when Christians sarcastically talk about the inconveniences of raising kids, which of course, might be funny if it happened on the rare occasion and the vast majority of the time was spent talking about the joy and pleasures of raising children, but it never is.
Far too often, the way the church thinks and speaks about children is no different from the world. The world is negative, but the church must be positive. We must celebrate fathers, mothers, and children.
This is in part why I felt like pausing to talk about Sanctity of Human Life is so important. I know I’m preaching to the choir but even the choir needs to be encouraged every now and then!
I hope you can see where this is going: if you don’t believe that children are gifts from God, and we regularly speak negatively about family life and children then we’re effectively supporting the pro-choice cause! If the family is a burden, then abortion makes sense!
Marriage, fatherhood, motherhood, and children are all blessings from the Lord. Children are not a burden, they’re a tremendous blessing.
But notice where it all begins.
But of course, we’d be remiss if we didn’t talk about where everything starts. It doesn’t start with the right political convictions, it doesn’t start with believing life begins at conception, those views will certainly make you pro-life, but it’s not what gives the family inherent meaning:
The Lord Jesus gives the family meaning.
How does Psalm 128 begin? “Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways!” It all starts there, doesn’t it?
Your faith in Jesus Christ must be at the foundation of how you view the family. That’s why the Psalmist, after describing the family, says again in verse 4, “Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.”
The word “fear” doesn’t mean scared, it means “reverence or awe.” If you don’t have reverence or awe for God as the maker and sustainer of life, then you're not going to have reverence and awe for human life in general.
I’m sure there’s a pro-life atheist out there somewhere but his views on family and children will always be deficient.
But if we come away from Psalm 128 thinking that you assign meaning to your family, then you’ve missed the whole point. You don’t assign meaning to any of it. Rather, the Lord gives meaning.
And because of that, you and I must remember the Lord himself has given your family to you as a blessing. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and once you understand that, then you’ll begin to see things as he sees them.
We don’t give meaning to any of this, He does! Therefore, being pro-life isn’t a political issue, it’s a distinctly Christian issue. The Lord tells us that life has inherent worth and meaning because He has given it meaning. That’s what it means to be created in the image of God. That’s the imago dei.
And to fully appreciate your family, to fully appreciate the enjoyment of children, you have to first appreciate what Christ did on the cross. It all begins right there.
I hope on this Sanctity of Human Life Day you will remember that a successful career, wealth, and personal autonomy, is not what will give value or meaning to your life.
Only faith in Jesus Christ gives your life meaning and then out of his abundant grace bestows more blessing upon you, like your family.
Your legacy will not be in your work, your lasting legacy will be in your home.
Perhaps you’re sitting there thinking that you’ve failed in this way. Maybe you’ve gone through a divorce or you have adult children that you weren’t really there for. Repent. Repent before the Lord of course, but repent to your family as well. Help them see that the man or woman that you were then, isn’t the man or woman that you are now.
I know that many of you here have strained or broken relationships with your family. You may be thinking, “Jake, that sounds great, but my family certainly doesn’t seem like a blessing to me. You don’t know the details and complexities of my family situation.”
Which is of course true. I don’t know the exact details of everyone’s situation and I don’t know the complexities of your particular situation. Families sometimes can be the source of our greatest pain. But even with that said, we worship and serve a God who brings the dead to life. And if the Lord can raise the dead to life, then He is more than capable of healing, binding up, and restoring the relationships in your family.
Of course, if you bear any responsibility then perhaps you need to reach out to someone and ask for their forgiveness. Be willing to take the necessary steps to repair those relationships. But if that’s not your situation then, never, never, never stop praying. Don’t ever give up.
But if you're one of those families that’s right in the thick of it, and your life is perpetual chaos with work, school, practice, friends etc, - never let the stress of life distract you from the fact that God has richly blessed you. Don’t be so focused on the next thing that you miss what is right in front of you.
Embracing Christ in faith and accepting your God-given roles are the secret to happiness. It doesn’t mean you’ll have a perfect life. But it means you’ll have a God-glorifying one.
Let’s pray together.
